I learned to think in circles
to watch as life sprouts up,
runs its course
falls to pieces
and dies
only to renew itself again
yet I question the applicability of my knowledge
to my own situation
as one being
one lifetime
one consciousness
I know that I stand amidst something greater than me
as I watch winter fade to spring
for I know my seasons will not return
the spring of my childhood is long-since gone
the summer of my youth is fading
what new things will autumn bring?
how long do I have to prepare til the winter?
and it sets me in awe of this world
this world, where winter fades to spring
because I know my winter will not end
there will be no more springs for me.
what does it mean, to grapple with loss?
to have had something you cannot get back?
does it bear any meaning?
seeds scattered on barren ground
life in vain reaching to extend itself
begging at the feet of nature
who firmly answers 'no'.
what can I find in the midst of this?
can I learn to see the cycles in my own life?
do I tread a linear path, where beyond each point
there is no return?
there stands a mirror in the center of me
I suppose that's what it means, a time of reflection
to look at the life that has been lost within me
should I stop and mourn?
do I have the time?
perhaps that answer, too, is up to me
and there is no ideal choice
but every second ticks on
and I am aware of myself
one being, one consciousness
seated in a molting tree
a tree with one year left to live
one autumn, one winter
one year in which to make it count
and I have squandered the time of sowing.
my body knows only death
my body knows only decay
even if I push back at the damage which has been done
even if I come to a better state
we march only towards non-being.
so I turn to the soul within me
and search its flames for hope
but I know here, too, the answer will not change
he responds as firm as nature
"time is,
and you must make it count"
he cannot feel the pain of time
he stands outside it all
yet here I am within the system
desperately trying to fold a circle out of a line
and still the clock is ticking
more and more pieces fall to the ground
'Remember thou art dust'
what do I do with that warning?
Where do I go from here?
0=1
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