Post your Joke of the Day.
Share the laughter, anyone who posts sucky jokes get.......BANNED! , jus' kidding , but at least try to post only good ones, Okay? I'll start:
Prom Night was coming up, and a girl announced to her boyfriend that she wanted to make it special and take a hotel room for the night.
Being the responsible type, the boy went to the Pharmacy to purchase protection. The pharmacist was very helpful and guided the boy for about an hour and told him everything there was to know.
The boy came early to pick his girlfriend, and her Mother invited him to join them for dinner. When they sat down, the boy, looking to impress her parents, offered to say grace then bowed his head. A minute passed, and the boy was still deep in prayer...5 minutes passed, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 10 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leaned over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
Joke of the Day
- Relinquished
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Re: Joke of the Day
A horse walked into a bar...
Ok, for real, I have very little amount of good jokes, since borrowing ones I have heard (in finnish) are either hard to translate, or the joke itself is based upon the way it is said.
Well, here's one I have heard lately. It might involve a bit racism, even though I think it doesn't, but still...
Ok, for real, I have very little amount of good jokes, since borrowing ones I have heard (in finnish) are either hard to translate, or the joke itself is based upon the way it is said.
Well, here's one I have heard lately. It might involve a bit racism, even though I think it doesn't, but still...
Avatar art made by Rashaskool.
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Re: Joke of the Day
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of red, they lay down for the night and went to sleep.
Some hours later Holmes woke up, nudged his faithful friend and said, "Watson, I want you to look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars." Sherlock said, "And what does that tell you?"
After a minute or so of pondering Watson said, "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Metereologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day today. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for about 30 seconds and said, "Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!"
Some hours later Holmes woke up, nudged his faithful friend and said, "Watson, I want you to look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars." Sherlock said, "And what does that tell you?"
After a minute or so of pondering Watson said, "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Metereologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day today. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for about 30 seconds and said, "Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!"
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Re: Joke of the Day
Two normal and a blonde girl are lost on an unknown island. They find Alladin's lamp. Number 1 normal girl wishes to go back to her family and her job. The number 2 normal girl wishes the same thing. The blonde girl
says: You idiot! I'm feeling alone. Bring back my friends! ( no offence if any blonde girl is ready this and sorry for the bad english, I just translated it how I could)
says: You idiot! I'm feeling alone. Bring back my friends! ( no offence if any blonde girl is ready this and sorry for the bad english, I just translated it how I could)
_I_
Re: Joke of the Day
lol blonde jokes
Here is one from me for today:
A young guy from Kentucky moves to Florida and goes to a big
everything under one roof department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back in Kentucky."
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start
tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did on
your first day."
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the
store was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many sales did you make today?"
The kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one?! Our sales people average 20 to 30 sales
a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid says, "$101,237.65."
The boss says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him
a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him
a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he
said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we
went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris
Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I
took him over to the automotive department and sold him the Ford
4x4 Expedition."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold
him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"
The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife
and I said, well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing."
Here is one from me for today:
A young guy from Kentucky moves to Florida and goes to a big
everything under one roof department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back in Kentucky."
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start
tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did on
your first day."
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the
store was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many sales did you make today?"
The kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one?! Our sales people average 20 to 30 sales
a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid says, "$101,237.65."
The boss says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him
a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him
a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he
said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we
went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris
Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I
took him over to the automotive department and sold him the Ford
4x4 Expedition."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold
him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"
The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife
and I said, well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing."
- Micky
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- Contact:
Re: Joke of the Day
I lol'd.the_prince_of_light wrote:http://ragecollection.com/23425
I has Christmas dumb-blonde joke:
There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
- Micky