Journal
Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:07 am
To what extent am I 'responsible' for any or all of my flaws as a person, as I am now.
Something within me decries the idea of opting to take responsibility for more than I genuinely comprehend to be so. However, I believe it's reasonable to say that all my current failings can be traced back to moments when, by my own senses, I could have made better choices, been 'truer' in my feelings and my embraced attitudes. Granted, by my own understanding, to some extent they snowballed of their own accord after that, independently of my core free will and decision-making. But that just means it's 'partial' responsibility, and partial responsibility is still responsibility. Even if it's 'harder' than it was the first time, to make the 'right' decision, that doesn't truly excuse anything. Not to mention the ways in which I am better equipped than I was as a child.
Is the expectation that of perfection, then? Is everyone responsible for every single thing they didn't carry out to perfection, within the realm of possibility? Is everyone responsible for every choice they didn't make?
It's less egregious, at least, if the 'good' of a decision can be weighed against the repercussions of every other path not taken. Better than indolence, and nothing to show for it at all.
So I'm responsible for my imperfect decisions -- even despite the fact that imperfection is practically inevitable. A tough pill to swallow, but I think I can manage it. Especially considering the flipside of it: I'm also responsible for the degrees of good.
But then the question is, am I responsible for aspects of my being that are purely incidental, unmalleable, and which I had and have no true say over. My essential characteristics. Limitations of elementa, etcetera. I don't honestly see how it would be so, but I suspect that might make sense in some way I can't currently grasp. Again, the voice cries out. The injustice of life, reality, of God.
To put it one way, I am such that I would make those same choices of those categorical, 'essential characteristics' of my being, if I hypothetically had the choice. Maybe that's how it makes sense. And I can hardly expect to partake in its fruit while bearing none of the consequences.
Something within me decries the idea of opting to take responsibility for more than I genuinely comprehend to be so. However, I believe it's reasonable to say that all my current failings can be traced back to moments when, by my own senses, I could have made better choices, been 'truer' in my feelings and my embraced attitudes. Granted, by my own understanding, to some extent they snowballed of their own accord after that, independently of my core free will and decision-making. But that just means it's 'partial' responsibility, and partial responsibility is still responsibility. Even if it's 'harder' than it was the first time, to make the 'right' decision, that doesn't truly excuse anything. Not to mention the ways in which I am better equipped than I was as a child.
Is the expectation that of perfection, then? Is everyone responsible for every single thing they didn't carry out to perfection, within the realm of possibility? Is everyone responsible for every choice they didn't make?
It's less egregious, at least, if the 'good' of a decision can be weighed against the repercussions of every other path not taken. Better than indolence, and nothing to show for it at all.
So I'm responsible for my imperfect decisions -- even despite the fact that imperfection is practically inevitable. A tough pill to swallow, but I think I can manage it. Especially considering the flipside of it: I'm also responsible for the degrees of good.
But then the question is, am I responsible for aspects of my being that are purely incidental, unmalleable, and which I had and have no true say over. My essential characteristics. Limitations of elementa, etcetera. I don't honestly see how it would be so, but I suspect that might make sense in some way I can't currently grasp. Again, the voice cries out. The injustice of life, reality, of God.
To put it one way, I am such that I would make those same choices of those categorical, 'essential characteristics' of my being, if I hypothetically had the choice. Maybe that's how it makes sense. And I can hardly expect to partake in its fruit while bearing none of the consequences.